and not ranting quite so much either. Taken a while to get back to blogging. Life has been very unsettled in the last year or so. Have never needed to go back to the misery blog, I have not quite sunk back to that level, though there have been times. Some bad things happened in the last year, some shocking and some deeply sad. I think that is part of getting older. Bad and sad things get much closer to you. That is if you have been spared much sorrow in your youth, as some aren't. Apart from those things, it has been stressful and scary at times, and incredibly lonely at times. That isn't new, but ongoing loneliness, lack of love and touch and intimacy, the deep ache and longing for anyone to be in your life and notice you, that can really eat away at you and sometimes it just feels to me, like it is killing me inside. I have heard some stories of people just fading away, some dying slowly out of longing and pining, lack of love. I am not pining for anyone. Rather I just think, I want so much to give to someone, but of course they need to want it to. They want me to love them. And there has been noone who wants that from me.
So far.
Not given up yet.
Determined to get back into a good mental state, to get fit again, to love life again and not give in and get depressed. I have set myself some goals and I am working towards them. All I can do is keep focusing on the positive and not the negatives, of which there are many.
I will not lose faith in the arms of love.
